just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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