I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
