Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
