So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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