hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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