dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
