There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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