My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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