i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
