things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I think I am morally bankrupt
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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