didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He felt like a one man threesome
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
