May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
