my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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