My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
