I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
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My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
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I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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