Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
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