He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
