the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
