I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
