no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
