please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
