Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
