im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
They are going to name an STD after you.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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