If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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