I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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