i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just want to make out with him forever
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
