me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
