I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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