If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize