i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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