dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
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yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
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THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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