i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
