Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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