she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
