mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize