Say something about gay babies.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
