The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
