is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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