Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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