pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Do you remember whose house we're in?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
