eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
