why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
