Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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