when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
