Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
