Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
