Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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