i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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