guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
