As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
