11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
It was confusing and full of hummus
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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