u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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