Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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