I heard we made out
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
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How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
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She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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