If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
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For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
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He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?