I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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