i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt