He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts