ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.