But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED