In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
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I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
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I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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