I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
soo... how was my night?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
