I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize