one two three fourrrrnication!
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
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I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
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Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize