Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
