i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
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He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
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White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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