I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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