I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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